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Jason Bateman breaks down painfully awkward way he told teen daughter about the birds and the bees

Jason Bateman breaks down painfully awkward way he told teen daughter about the birds and the bees插图

Jason Bateman was “baited” into “uncomfortable” conversations about the birds and the bees with his youngest daughter.

The actor told “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” viewers Wednesday that when Maple, 14, underwent sex education at school last year, he asked whether she had “any questions” or was “all up to date.”

The “Ozark” alum, 58, noted that he “didn’t want to tell her anything [he didn’t] need to.”

Jason Bateman had a painfully awkward conversation about intercourse with his youngest daughter (pictured above second from the left at the “Zootopia 2” premiere). FilmMagic
The actor told “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” viewers how he explained the birds and the bees. Jimmy Kimmel Live/Youtube

Bateman believes his daughter “played dumb” to force him into the painfully awkward conversation as she claimed, “I’m not positive on a bunch of stuff.”

The teen even let Bateman get to the end of his intercourse breakdown — and he struggled to find words for what he dubbed “the release.”

Calling “ejaculate” a “necessary component,” the “Arrested Development” alum explained that he refused to say the word to Maple.

He claimed on Wednesday that Maple, 14, “played dumb” to force him into the “uncomfortable” chat. Jimmy Kimmel Live/Youtube
Bateman found a creative way to avoid using the word “ejaculate” with Maple (pictured above second from the right at the September 2025 “Black Rabbit” premiere). Getty Images for Netflix

Instead, he said, “When the male member is inside of the woman’s member, it’s so lovely. There is so much love. … The penis just screams. And it’s the equivalent of the penis just yelling, ‘I love you!’ And it yells the love into the woman and then you get you, baby.’”

Bateman “started to sweat” just remembering the awkward moment.

Jimmy Kimmel sarcastically urged him to “write a children’s book,” quipping, “We’re gonna mop up. … Everybody, Jason Bateman is available to talk to your children if need be.”

“The penis just screams … and yells the love into the woman,” Bateman recalled saying on Wednesday. Jimmy Kimmel Live/Youtube
He “started to sweat” just remembering the conversation with Maple (pictured above in July 2017). FilmMagic

Bateman shares Maple, as well as daughter Francesca, 19, with his wife, Amanda Anka.

The couple have been married since July 2001.

The “Horrible Bosses” star made headlines earlier this month for reflecting on the “tension” in his relationship before getting sober in his 30s.

He and wife Amanda Anka are also the parents of 19-year-old Francesca (pictured above second from the left in July 2017). Getty Images
Bateman and Anka (pictured above in March 2010) have been married since July 2001. Getty Images

“[She] didn’t demand that I completely absolve, but that was sort of the back-and-forth,” he recalled in a Hollywood Reporter interview, admitting Anka, 57, found his habits “annoyingly predictable.”

On Wednesday, Bateman poked fun at headlines implying his alcohol abstinence was a recent decision.

“I didn’t know Bateman had a problem,” he joked. “I didn’t know he was suffering. Thank God he’s pulled out of it!”

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